If you read lot, you need to find a way to keep your sanity...

XiPXi

Does 'love her_i despite her_i ' make any sense? Is loving someone despite the very person ever possible? Somehow, it is the way I do, the way I've alway been functioning. I just didn't realize that. But I'm not sure about the nature of this mechanism, whether it is innate to me or just a learned way because of my frustrating with the impossibility to cross the barriers? Either way, I may have to accept it, which means I have to make that distinction in order not to misplace the unnecessary negative feeling on what is not in fact responsible. Why do things have to be complicated with me? I guess I just have to be. (Fortunately, now I've gathered some voices which when one thing is pulling away from me remind me of looking into a place where the road keeps spreading.)

 

I've just realized that instead of wanting to loveher I'm actually lovingher. For the first time, I can really say that...

Les gens qui ont "du mal" se comprennent, ils entrent en contact et s'approchent (petit à petit), sans que ceux n'en ont pas sachent comment...

1+1?

Why not? It is totally a good idea, as a start, like most of the things, the seemingly simpliest may be the hardest, the most revealing... Besides, I trust /er.

Sy&Se

I have been quite annoyed whenever asked for , or directly confronted to certain interpretations of bizarre shapes I produce on paper, which I can hardly classify as anything. They want "meaning", "significances", the explication of certain presupposed existence of sth which has a shape, elucidation and motivation, because they cannot tolerate the autonomy of a well-formed structure. Depriving of "meaning" is admitting it is done on impluse. I don't think it is impulse, or can I refuse that it is not. But the structure has much to do with what they consider "meaningful". The inner, or innate je ne sais quoi seems to me more faithfully "brought out" by the structures, but one thing I am sure about is that it is definitely what they call "meaning" in the conventional way. Even, if I may say, the perceptible shapes do not only funtion to represent, but ARE DIRECTLY part of the inme.

I didn't wipe the chair before sitting down on it. I didn't sit down before opening that book, and before sitting down I shut it close. I can afford to reading it without breaking it into pieces, too much risk. The only possible way is to leave it within my reach, and peep into a small morsel from time to time. That is the plan. But this morning, things are slow, a rare chance that things can go slow. It's not a break, but I feel my mind unoccupied, untethered, allowed to flow and float away anywhere it desires. No technical terms (which I like), no respecting any logic... it's like putting away something away a while just for picking it up again to be able to appreciate more. I've felt relieved since I released the words the other say, or released something with my words, or perhaps released something in my words. Something you have to say, something you may never have a chance to say, something you should have said but there was no way for you to be capable to realize yourself... I've learned that lesson so well, the permanent question mark with a sign I don't have to remember, because it won't go away.