There are things you keep thinking would go away until the moment comes when they take you by surprise, and you give in. Standing at the trains station, she brought it up again. She brought her up again. I wanted to end the conversation, or I wanted to keep the topic. I didn't know. I don't know which it was. The mentioning of her name brought it all back, her voice, her smile, her way of calling my name...I cannot get rid of it, can I? I concluded in firmly by declaring that I would never go out of my way to expect anything more than the sweet memory I had, but in my head, I was floating away to that faraway land where she left for. I told her about a fabulous woman who came in the other say, whose beauty had the power to erase my infatuation for a moment. But only for a moment. I talked about my intention to ask out a very special girl, but I knew all I was about to do is to distract myself from her. I cannot forget her, can I? they say admitting your problem is the first step to overcome it. I should probably stop repressing my feeling, but I am confused, because I've talked about it with all those with whom I could share. I have already let it out, so how can I reveal more about it? There was a time I believed that the fire is so strong that one day the fuel would burn out, but it hasn't. I ran away to get over it, and when I came back I felt the city was empty without her, but I was wrong. The city is never empty. Now, after she is gone, she becomes omnipresent. No amount of looking back or forward can efface her imprint on my mind. No amount of your boss or his girlfriend flirting with you helps either. They only make things worse. They only remind you how much you miss someone else. You are not flattered by their attention, which only makes you angrier for not being able to reach out to the one that has trapped your heart. Reaching out to someone, it seems to have always been what I have been trying to do but failed, ever since I was a teenager. I'm always choosing the impossible ones. I start to wonder whether I enjoy self-tormenting. I always turn away from the ones I like, run away from the ones I care and hide away from the ones I want. Much I can figure out except this kind of behavior of mine. And I wonder if I still have enough time to get things clear this time.
